HOW TO BE A SERENA WILLIAMS HATER
(In no particular order:)
1. Accuse Ms. Williams of using steroids after she wins a title.
2. Pretend to be a tennis fan, just so you can root for Serena’s opponents. Doesn’t matter if you can’t pronounce the woman’s name–as long as she beats Serena. You’s a hater.
3. Call her fat, though clearly you can see that she is not.
4. Call her a man, though clearly you can see that she is not. CLEARLY.
5. Compare her to an animal, any animal…just because you’re full of shit.
6. Live your life like it’s still 2009 by bringing up the US Open “foot fault-gate” every chance you get, especially after Serena Williams has won a title. (Or any other time, really.)
7. Feign outrage when your bland ass finally find out what the “c” in C-Walk stands for. Then pretend that Serena Williams is a gang-banger, about to jack every other Olympian for their Gold Medals.
8. Speaking of the Olympics, if you are American you will root against your own country because you love to see Serena lose.
9. On blogs and sports pages, you comment about how her career is “so over” because she lost a match. (Let’s see: Lost at the French Open 2012, won Wimbledon, won Singles and doubles Gold in the Olympics, mere weeks apart. Yep, “sooo over!” EDIT 9/9/12: Add to that list the 2012 US Open Championship. Hey, haters! How you doin’?)
10. Remark about how ‘ghetto’ she is and mention her Compton background as often as you can…though she’s done more and seen more in her life than you will ever see or do in yours.
That pretty much sums it up! Did we leave anything out?